Morning Ritual

Everyone at some point declares war on the morning ritual. We invent systems and procedures to minimize steps and anguish but at some point we have to admit defeat, if only for a short time. Thankfully spring break is upon us and we can declare a ceasefire for a week.

My oldest has a To Do list and the requirement is that she complete the To Do list before she plays on the computer or watches tv. At first the list consisted of pictures of the things she was to complete but as she progresses through grade 1 I've added words. As she is an early riser (way earlier than me) this seems a good idea. For the most part it works but every now and then I find myself scrambling to get out the door yelling for shoes and up until a few months ago usually having to deal with some sort of "bathroom" issue from the two younger ones - fortunately the light is visible at the end of that particular tunnel.

Of course, it doesn't help that my own life isn't organized. I have the idea to teach organization to my children when I'm not organized - yes, I know - half of you are rolling on the floor laughing right about now - silly woman, right?

BRB - time to do the dash to school. I'm back. We live really close to the school, close enough to fairweather walk. As DD2* (dear daughter 2) gets older we'll look at walking more often but for now I can dash to school and back in 8 minutes.

Back to the morning rituals, so far the To Do list is working, instead of constant reminders to do this, this and this, I've at least shortened my litany to "have you completed your To Do List?" Back when DD1 was in preschool we had a particularly bad week and I decided that if I didn't want to spend the next 13 years pulling my hair out every morning I had to do something. Because she wanted to go to school so badly, not going to school was punishment. As it was preschool I had a little more flexibility. So, when it came time to go and she still wasn't ready I told that's it! you don't get to go. Not believing me she started to scramble to get ready but it was already too late, school had started. Instead I called them and reported her absence and DD1 spent the next 2 1/2 hours sitting on a chair in the kitchen. She wasn't allowed to get down to do anything except go to the bathroom. Needless to say she was a bit annoyed with me and keeping her in that chair for 2 1/2 hours seemed more like 24 hours, but I persevered and came to the end of the school day. Then I asked her if it wouldn't have been more fun at school and she agreed. I've only had to pull out that threat a couple of times since (of course, this will only work for as long as school is a place she wants to be but by then I hope to have instilled the morning rituals).

Life with children is an experiment. Every parent, every child is different. There are a ton of experts (professional and otherwise) who have their tried and true methods and some work and some don't. But by and large, it's one big experiment, with changing protocols and changing subjects - let's face it children change day to day, heck hour to hour; the little darling that greeted you with an angelic smile in the morning is no relation to the wild-eyed screaming monster that desperately needs a nap in the afternoon! What works for one child might work for another with a little tweaking or maybe it makes about as much sense as barretts on a cat to another. The point is, there aren't any schools teaching parenting, no exams, no diplomas, for a reason. It's constantly changing and we muddle through the best we can. If we're good scientists, we change our theories when presented with new evidence instead of trying to force the data into the parameters we want, we accept the path the data leads us down and try not to explode the lab in the process.

So far my experiment with morning rituals is working with DD1, DS (dear son) however, is rapidly coming along behind DD1 and with kindergarten starting in the fall will I be continueing with the experiment or will the lab blow up?

Considering we're about to demo our house and build a new one (the three kids are currently sharing one 8 x 12 room and I'm sure a mutiny is on the horizon) I'm leaning towards the lab blowing up - literally! But, more on that later.

*The terms DD1, DD, DS etc are borrowed from www.flylady.com.