My child is a picky eater.....

"My child is a picky eater" has to be one of the top annoying statements parents utter if not, the most annoying. The number of times I've heard parents complaining that their children won't eat vegetables or meat or some such amazes me. Those same parents will say, in front of their children, that their child is a picky eater. And when does this pickiness start? The first time a child turned their nose up at the meal they were offered and the parent foolishly panicked and immediately set about finding something that the child would eat. Contrary to popular belief, babies and toddlers aren't brainless and quickly learn to manipulate their parents. Don't believe me, the next time you see a toddler fall, before jumping into action to rescue them, pretend to not see it and just watch them from the corner of your eye. 90% of the time the child will look to see if anyone is watching before deciding if they are hurt. If they see that there was a witness to their fall then the waterworks start. The other 10% of the time, well that's where they start crying immediately without the look-about, that would be a true comfort-needed moment.

In previous posts I mention that raising children is an ongoing experiment. One of the many theories I have is that if you put it in front of them and don't tell them they might not like it, well, they'll probably eat it and like it. I remember serving dinner one day and putting brussel sprouts on everyone's plate, 4 to each of the children and several to DH and myself. I put the pot back on the stove and proceeded to serve the next item. By the time I got to DD2's plate all her brussel sprouts were gone, as were DH's which was in easy reach of DD2 - and the dog was not in the house at the time. Not only did my not quite two-year old toddler eat all 4 of her brussel sprouts she stole the ones of DH's plate. I gave both of them some more and moved DH's plate out of reach.

Think about it, when was the last time you served ice-cream, chocolate or candy to your child and said, "you might not like it but you have to try it"? Yet, for some reason people do that all the time with meat, fish, veggies etc and then act all surprised that their child won't eat whatever it was that was served.

If you want your child to eat their dinner without fuss, stop making a fuss over it. Serve the meal that you prepare, if they don't eat it, don't worry about it. Children will not starve to death if they're given food. So they miss a meal, big deal. We are so absorbed with food that we spend the bulk of our lives thinking about food, eating food, preparing food, worrying about food, throwing food away and finding food that we forget that to our children food is not the be all and end all.

DD1 doesn't care for my seafood chowder and it's purely psychological, she encountered a piece of sand in a clam once and it turned her off the whole soup, I make it and serve it (usually with baking powder biscuits) and if she eats it she eats it, if not, well then she does without until breakfast. I certainly don't make a separate meal for her - my kitchen isn't a restaurant. Now, some parents might think that I'm being mean, what's the big deal with making something for her to eat, or just not making it at all. Well, for one thing, children who are allowed to be picky eaters grow up to be picky eaters, they're the rude people who come to dinner and either don't eat what's offered or throw most of what was on their plate in the garbage.

We are doing our children a disservice by not offering them the "grown up" veggies like brussel sprouts, asparagus, swiss chard, beet greens etc (yes, my children eat those too, without fuss). These veggies are high in nutrients, iron, anti-oxidants etc - you know, all those fancy things adults are finding out they should've been eating for the last few decades and now have to force themselves to eat because they never developed a taste for them!

So, if you want your children to grow up with a taste for healthy foods, start serving them early, and don't sit there with a clothes pin on your nose making gagging noises as you force them down your own throat. Just serve them. Now if your children are older it isn't too late to change tactics, remember, it's an experiment and when the data changes the method has to change. Most of those veggies taste really good with melted cheese - also high in protein and calcium.